This is a very hard entry to write... in fact, I'm going to purposely keep it brief because this just hurts so much. I could write pages and post hundreds of photos, but I can barely see the computer screen through my tear-filled eyes. We lost our baby, Coco, on Wednesday, January 13th. I have been grieving her loss ever since. What makes this difficult situation even worse is that I don't know for sure what happened to her. We've searched our property and neighborhood, we've checked with neighbors and we've posted 'Lost Dog' signs all over the neighborhood, but truly all this was just for the benefit of the kids. In my heart of hearts, I'm sure that she was gotten by a wild animal. For two or three weeks prior to her disappearance she had been ferociously barking in the same spot in our yard. I think something (a coyote?) was out there just waiting for her... I hurt everyday knowing that I didn't protect her.
She was my joy and my friend and there's not an hour that goes by that I don't think about her. I loved her so, so much and she returned that love to me every minute of every day. She added so much happiness to our lives and now that she's gone, there's such an emptiness in our house. Hayley found the poem that is written below. It's really sweet and sums up a lot of what I feel...
"A Dog Wags Its Tail with Its Heart"
... She had told me a thousand times over that I was her reason for being;
by the way she rested against my leg; by the way she thumped her tail at my smallest smile;
by the way she showed her hurt when I would leave without taking her.
When I was wrong, she was delighted to forgive.
When I was angry, she would clown to make me smile.
When I was happy, she was joy unabounded.
When I was a fool, she ignored it.
She was loyalty itself.
She has taught me the meaning of devotion.